Sausage rhymes with "Shut up bitch"

The other day I went to the butcher who in turn chopped off my foot. Oh life. How am I ever going to be able to run to the women of my dreams who stands above me, hair flowing, bracelet showing, mooing. MOOING. Cow tipping is fun. That's how I met her. Standing alone in the paddock. Swallowing her food for the 4th time. Oh how I love her. Then she dumped me. Hey are you single?

Laugh till the world Sees your Anus Leaks

"Don't worry" I said to my mum the day she gave the medicine. "All will be well." Life is good when your mother thinks you are not going swimming whilst experiencing the wonder of anal leakage. I was going to the pool to pick up. I like the pool. it is a safe enviroment for getting to know girls and seeing more skin than in National Geographic. "A man in my position need not consider any effecst of swimming with girls" I said as I jumped into the pool followed a trail of brown matter that could only be described as "chunky". Girls think I'm great.

I can't Remember

Have you ever wondered how a phsycic knows your name? I havn't. But Gary the guy down the road who often mistakes me for Britney Spears has. He sure is a funny dog. The other day I said "Yo man wit da wickety whcl in da Yak Attack What UP Dawg." I tell ya one minute your trying to be nice and the next your nuts are caught between your neighbors dogs upper and lower jaw.