But my mum says I have pretty hair.

I like natural grease. I'm not one to brag, but I have a lot of it stored in my hair. It is useful for all kinds of odd jobs around the house. Fixing the porch, sealing the roof, separating the grandparents after they watched american pie 2 and decided that the whole superglue thing could work. The other day I decided that with all this wealth I had stashed in my hair, it was time to give something to the community and show the world that grease monkeys can do other things than think about sex with animals every seven seconds. I went out and began to spread the word. Telling people not to be hygenic, but to think of themselves as rotting toasted cheese sandwhiches, that whilst they look old and mouldy on the outside, grease, slime and other odd smells are often emitted from the inside. Spread the word. What's an uglier mental picture. Ugly old naked man, or ugly old naked woman? Leave a comment.