The Hills are alive, with the sounds of suicide

It occurred to me recently, as I stood atop the cliff face pondering my empty.fulfilled existence. If I was to force elmo into the Snuffleupagus, that you could possible make a muffleupagus that says cute things, but is ugly as all hell so would force people to run into walls with the sole purpose of smashing their brains all over the ground so that when five year olds would come along and say"yummy jelly"other people would stand around and laugh at the ignorance of the young. Obsessed with my own Ideas of sexuality I came down from that mountain with a new beginning that I knew would make me famous. I would become the new Doctor Phil. No, I don't have the accent. No, I'm not a doctor either, but hey if baldy jones over there can make a living of crap that nobody listens to really, then I can too. I can tell people what to wear, what to eat, what to do in case of fire, and yes afterwards, they will sleep with me as well. I will release books, which will make people want to come on my show and sleep with me. I will release tapes which will make people want to bonk my brains out and YES, if I have to be a parasitic celebrity, sucking the blood out of an already famous talk show host, then yes, I will do it. It's what makes me an individual.