Wearing a sock and just a sock

My laundry hates me. Every time I walk in there I start being harassed by annoying voices saying things like "Honey, while your in there can you take the washing out?" and "Honey, I think I left my nostril hair trimmer in the bathroom, you're closer than me can you get it?" or "Honey, next time we're out in public, you mind not trying to grab grandmas nipple just to see the true effects of wisdom?" People don't get the interest that I have for life. Worried that Life was beginning to take hold of my balls and trying to see how many time it can twist them 360 degrees before I say ow, a fun game that Life had watched me play several times with my girlfriend, she said ow after 4 times, weak, I sat thought then murdered my next door neighbor for playing tennis. Hell hath no fury then a man who suddenly realises the female body is supposed to be different from his own.

To da Beat yo

I love rape. I mean Rap. It's great. It makes us intelligent. So much so, that every youth in the world, especially the ones who are not popular, can now have the access to drugs, sex and weapons to become the popular kid in Kindergarten. What a great way for the nerdy kid, who likes books, taking baths and repeat episodes of The Brady Bunch to walk into school and rhyme, "Yo yo yo, you skinny little ass, gonna tell yall a story bout a kid sitting in mass, he didn't like the priest, he didn't like his style, he didn't like the way that his poo fell in piles" Then belt his teacher over the head with a baseball bat that has nails sticking out of it. I mean, wow, not only has the kid learned what similar syllables sound like, A feat most grown up rappers still can't master (I'm looking in your direction Will Smith ans Shaquille O'Neal) but he has also managed to gain the respect and fear of his peers. Then that kid could wear bling. Huge razor blades from sharpeners, Lead from Pencils. The possibilities are endless, Let there be popularity for the nerdy kid called Paddy. Let him, have all yall bitches. Then, let him make songs that openly disagree with gays and beating up your mum then have people say, Oh it's ok that hes a dickhead who lets his broom handle molest him each night, he had a bad childhood. No he didn't. He was the greatest rapper that the idiots in Mrs Kruger's (A nickname given to her after an unfortunate baseball bat incident) class has ever seen. YALL.

Women Scare me

Ever wondered why people go on rampages shooting it up. Killing the innocent. Yeah, you might think, "Oh, I know, they must have just watched one of Jerry Bruckhiemers films making them tip over the edge to insanity where, no, not even the devil could keep his emotional stability" Yesterday however, I found out why. Angry women. AHHHHHHHHHHHH. Yes I know, these are the people we should fear on a regular basis, not only on a regular basis, but on a monthly basis. Everyone should hide from people like this. Run. Run as though you are being chased by paparazzi through a tunnel in France. I used to wonder what made people gay. Now I know. They are not born that way. No. They are scared of angry women. So, I hereby make a vow. I will stand for them men in our community who are oppressed by women who are made angry through life. I will stand for justice in a world where the uterus reigns supreme. I will stand.... if the missus lets me.